Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

I very swiftly stole this from IgorAkineev

thought it was a very good way for my public posts to show more about me.
So for the next 30 days- if I don't quit halfway- I'll be following this nice list

day 01 → your favourite song
day 02 → your favourite movie
day 03 → your favourite television program
day 04 → your favourite book
day 05 → your favourite quote
day 06 → whatever tickles your fancy
day 07 → a photo that makes you happy
day 08 → a photo that makes you angry/sad
day 09 → a photo you took
day 10 → a photo of you taken over ten years ago
day 11 → a photo of you taken recently
day 12 → whatever tickles your fancy
day 13 → a fictional book
day 14 → a non-fictional book
day 15 → a fanfic
day 16 → a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
day 17 → an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
day 18 → whatever tickles your fancy
day 19 → a talent of yours
day 20 → a hobbie of yours
day 21 → a recipe
day 22 → a website
day 23 → a YouTube video
day 24 → whatever tickles your fancy
day 25 → your day, in great detail
day 26 → your week, in great detail
day 27 → this month, in great detail
day 28 → this year, in great detail
day 29 → hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
day 30 → whatever tickles your fancy

I will make more than one post per day, if I have something else I want to post, but this will be my main priority.As always, welcoming any comments

Now, favourite song? This is so difficult because it changes frequently with my mood and situations, and whatever I've been listening to a lot.
I can't actually choose just one song, so I'm choosing a whole album, which I don't see as cheating! ha
Daisy- Brand New is what I have on repeat on my ipod at the moment. At first, I wasn't a fan of it, thought it was too different compared to their other stuff, which as you may know I am a massive fan of, but this was deffinately a grower.

A few listens and I'm hooked. Especially on 'In A Jar' and 'Bed'; they're on the top list of my favourites.
I love Brand New because, even if it can put you in a slightly depressing mood, it speaks the truth. Obviously, it may just seem that it is just another whiny teenage band, but if you listen to all of their songs, you realize they have way more angles than broken relationships. And even that angle is challenged in so many different ways in their music. I'm always obsessed with atleast one of their songs.

Saw New Moon today. It was so amazing, way better than twilight, just for having a different director, who made every aspect of the film more striking and poignant.Cried several times because it just made me feel so inadequate in comparison; I am very concerned about that for some reason. But when Edward left her at the start, I literally had to hold myself, it was such a horrible feeling. The fact that she couldn't survive without it is what really got to me.
Other than that, today was interesting; to say the least. Might explain later, if I feel up to it.

-AMZZ x

"meet me on your best behaviour
meet me atyour worst"- Death Cab For Cutie

yes, it's out today.
The next film in the Twilight Saga is out today
And yes, I'm one of those girls who is absolutely utterly obsessed with anything twilight-related
Shoot me for it.

I'm going to see it tomorrow though, because I'm going with my friend who goes to school/lives a slight mish away, and we wouldn't be able to comfortably make any showings tonight.
So why rush? I want to enjoy new moon

My Team Edward top came today as well, feel tempted to wear it tomorrow, despite being wary of looking like an obsessed fan.
.... ah forget it, crazed fan coming though!

Since I can't explain my excitement for this film in actual words, heres an assortment of random letter to attempt to metaphorically show my excitement:

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeedfhyurgtyisuedhshgfvsdfhjb'PKIWSOA'DRFUJIAWEHUYIAGU
yhdushfjdgosdugfysgdfhi;eujrioweurwuegtefblagYUIRFGUAISEFSIFHSGFSHFB
SDUHFueyfuegwyeyreujgfshjfgsujg

that should just about do it ((:

-AMZZ x

"I hear you're living out of state, running in a whole new scene
They say i haven't slept in weeks, you're the only thing i see"- Anya Marina

the street lights have come on when you're walking home.

This time of year really makes asian mother incredibly depressed, especially if she feels she hasn't acheived anything since last winter. That might be why she's suddenly joined a load of gym classes and going out loads more, leaving me to fend for myself.

Me, it doesn't make me depressed nesesarily. I just love walking in that halfway stage, twilight. When its not daylight, but not yet night. Its so gorgeous to just walk in; when its not raining that is. Sometimes I wish I lived more in the country, so I could fully appreciate that moment of the day without the interuptions of traffic or other noise pollution.
But I know that, if I lived in the country, I would be very bored a lot of the time, and I wouldn't have a costa 3 minutes away from my house
The only time of the year when I feel incredibly guilty about my underacheivement is new year.

I always make some massive list of resolutions, and they never ever get done. A few of the ones this year was to: lose weight, drink less coffee (which I did, used to drink 6/7 cups a day, now its only 3), do some charity work.
I think I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself when making my list.

Fuck it, lets not make a list at all next year, live my life without worrying if I'm fufiling my promises and following the rules
Let's see how long that'll last

-AMZZ x

"Now they are starting to love you more,
a gallery of your beauty,
no charge at the door"- Escape The Fate

On more than one occasion today, I felt like an utter third wheel.
But the thing is, it wasn't even with people who are like couples. It was just with two certain people who were in a conversation that I was obviously not a part of, but still lingering about in.

Sociology test was a fail. Halfway through the second essay I just gave up and spend 20 minutes staring at the table wondering how the fuck I'm going to manage 5 essays in my real exam.

Atrocious fucking weather at the moment. Woke up, refused to open my curtains, didn't want to face the reality of the shitty dark, rainy weather as I knew it would put me in a bad mood for the day
Assembly did that for me though. Had to endure 5, I think it was, 5 girls attempting to dance and do some ridiculous moves in a failed attempt to look sexy.

Now i'm not saying I could do better, because I could not dance for shit, but one of them was stood there, not even knowing the moves! It was just horrible to watch and proper pissed me off first thing in the morning.

I found this really nice picture though, which actually makes the rain look gorgeous! I cannot take any credit whatsoever for this picture, as a friend of mine took this in her garden when we were at her house ages ago. Think it was in June, which just shows the crap weather we get all year round in Manchester the picture actually looks a helluva lot better like exploded so do take a closer look at it, its looks a bit shit in this format hah

-AMZZ x

"I don't think that you've got to pretend
I see God in birds and Satan in long words
But I know what you need in a friend
So now when I leave you, I hope I won't see you"- Brand New

The title was originally 'Tension; but not the good kind' but after laughing on my own for literally 5 minutes, decided to change it

Now I've been told its just a fragment of my imagination and that I'm being paranoid, but something with me and a few people close to me just doesn't seem right. Certain people who were, up until recently, considered great friends seem to have distanced themselves from me, and I'm really confused as to why.

I think I may have mentioned it before, but a person who I used to consider one of my best friends seems to have just shut me off. It just happened so abruptly and I can't understand why because I hadn't said or done anything out of the ordinary. Then again, the fact that I hadn't spoken to them in a while may have been a contributing factor, but still, it seems out of their character to just do that to someone who they haven't spoken to in a while.
I tried confrontation, but I was just assured that nothing was wrong, and it was just all in my head, Naturally. But something is wrong, and I know in my head that it is, I just have no actual evidence to back it up.

Another is someone who has just recently sort of gotten back into being considered a close friend, mainly because... I don't actually know. We just go through moments when we talk loads and get incredibly close. Then it dissapears as quickly as it happened and I'm left trying to take it all in.
I don't know why that happens, its always been like that, even when we dated (big clue, much?) but I'm starting to get whiplash from all the mood swings, and I ain't a big fan of that I must admit.

Theres actually another person, but I don't think I should elaborate on that, as she'll probably read it, and I did promise to make my public posts more insightful,  so I'm gonna pass on the last one.

I just feel like theres either something wrong with me and my mind, or that people are just avoiding me and not wanting to even bother anymore. It's not a nice feeling at all.

Guess I should be grateful I have the new Brand New album on repeat right now, otherwise I think I'd erupt in metaphorical angsy. Daisy. It's a grower; trust me.

-AMZZ x

"You make me happy whether you know it or not
We should be happy that's what I said from the start"- Nevershoutnever

Yet another of my promises to myself failed when I didn't stay in to work today; I went shopping with the mother.
And guess what I got?

She bought me a very gorgeous faux fur jacket, the kind that looks amazing and vintage and is a very timeless piece.
I am officially in love with it, cannot stop trying it on and dancing in front of the mirror in it. Might take a picture of it tomorrw to show exactly what I mean.
Apparently its my Eid-mas present (hybrid of Eid and Christmas celebrated by my Wasian family), but we both know I'm too spoilt to settle for just one thing. But its my only present for now, which I'm totally fine with

I am a very happy bunny as of now, and even happier with the new waistcoat and dress I also got without having to spend a penny of my own monies.
Starting to think she may have felt the slightest bit guilty. Hmm...

So I'm attempting to revise for my Sociology test tomorrw, maybe memorise bitta spanish, but all in all, my mood is too far up to really concentrate. All I really need now is for my stuff on ebay to get bought for a bloody lot, enabling me with a lot more cash,  and my week may actually be complaint free

Good times

-AMZZ x

"She was a grade one a-hole with a severe attitudinal problem"- Wild Child

Its actually sunny on the one day of the week when I promise myself to stay in and get some work done.
The massive to-do list stuck to my mirror is right now, menacingly taunting me.

Was rudely awaken by the crack in the curtains blinding me with a ray of sunlight.
God knows what time it was, but by midday, it had subsided enough for me to actually get out of bed.

Speaking fo promises to myself, I did promise myself I wasn't going to indulge in anymore shoes until I bought myself a pair of boots.
Epic Failure of a promise
Went shoe shopping with the Leeds sister yesterday and obviously I found myself in Office surrounded by gorgeous shoes; ON SALE!
One thing I cannot ever ever resist; gorgeous shoes on sale!
Hopefully this pair will go with more than one thing in my wardrobe. Since when have you known Leopard print peep toe stilleto heels to not go with anything?
Oh shit.

Ex-mother is currently poisoning my creative train of thought with The Saturdays on the radio. How lovely. All I can decipher from their song is a load of girly whining about how yet another of their relationships has failed. Join the club ladies, singing about it ain't going get him back. He's already getting off with the even less classier verson of you.
Chuck on some metal, and get the fuck over it

Yet another reason why I prefer to listen to my ipod over the radio. You don't have to endure the shitty choices in music.
Well that and the godforsaken adverts!

-AMZZ x

"And ohhh when the day is through
I will come to you and tell you of
Your many charms..."- Robert Pattinson

Asian mother, or ex-mother as I'm now tempted to refer to her from now on has just told me that yesterday she was in London and she saw...

Robert Pattinson. Yes Robert Pattinson, 

Gorgeous Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire
More commonly known as Edward Cullen in the Twilight Saga

Ex-mother managed to stay calm and orderly whilst being in the presence of that ^^
I would have caused a fucking riot!

She saw him at the premiere, and didn't think to get me photographic evidence or an autograph or ANYTHING
why even bother telling me then? I'm more annoyed than I would have been if I didn't know.

She has now also come to the conclusion that I have a thing for guys with crooked noses.
Great... I really give a shit about that, ex-mother of mine
She has really outdone herself in disappointment this time...

-AMZZ x

p.s. Yes, he sings also.

"And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I've lost control again"- Joy Division

Cannot wait to just get out of Manchester as soon as I can
Sometimes its just like eurghh, I need a change

Which is quite ironic because in my exam this morning, my describing piece was to describe a city and I chose Manchester.
I made it sound surprisingly amazing, and I'm just hoping I get a decent grade for it.
Much prefer the depressing topics tho, I find it a lot easier to make the description more effective if its something twisted! ha
But apart from that, I feel I did alright. the poetry was good, had a simple question with loads to pick out of the poems ((:

One thing that I really really hate about exams- apart from the actual exam- is when people just blindly yell 'Good Luck!' It really throws me off and irritates the fuck out of me
Its just because the majority of the time, you can tell that it isn't particulary sincere, and its just being said for the sake of saying it. I'd rather not say it at all to someone than say it and be wishing that they failed in my mind.
Ok, maybe they're not wishing me to fail when they say it, but its still barely absolutely sincere.

I feel like such a real-time writer sitting here, at my kitchen table, touch-typing while watching 'The Hills' Its a lot better for my posture because my kitchen chairs are a bitch to slouch in!
A wash of relief is over me today, finally finished english language, never ever have to do it again (unless I fail *touch wood*) But still, I feel very relaxed now, hoping that it will last a while, had enough of drama and stress in every aspect of my life.
Bitta Hills, bitta Gilmore Girls. Really craving a crisp butty right now and my laziness is overpowered by the convenience of being in my kitchen.

-AMZZ x

p.s. Evil Cute Guy has been named, well we found out his name. Although Madison did cheat and ask Fred, but still.

I've noticed that most of the writing that I enjoy re-reading again and again and that I feel quite proud of, is more often than not the posts I set to private so that only certain people can read it.

I don't do this because of spite, don't worry, it often ends up like that for one reason or another, prehaps its a very personal subject that I don't feel comfortable with sharing with the world, or maybe I mentioned someone in a post in a way that they should never see

Take for example, my regrets that pop up every now and then. the majority of my friends' list I think have seen it, and certain aspects and experiences of my past I don't particulary want to publicize to everyone, as I'm quite self-concious when it comes to expressing my feelings and emotions; I'm always worried on how people are going to judge me based on what I've written.

But thats not fair. To reserve the best and juciest writing for whoever is on my friends' list, so decided that from now on, going to endeavour- and hopefully succeed- in making my public posts more worthwhile to read and more insightful into my mind

Which, to be fair,  is why I made this blog in the first place; to allow anyone and everyone to pick apart the fragments of my mind.

-AMZZ x